I'm writing this post because I
notice that I've recently become less interested in ELT-related stuff. I feel
less excited about various methodology tips and ways of teaching English. I've even bought
a few books in Czech which have nothing to do with teaching or education. Yet,
I'm convinced that this break is an inevitable, temporary part of my journey.
The way I see
myself as a teacher has changed dramatically over the past few months. The metamorphosis
is evident and the impacts of it are apparent. Until, say, August I was
primarily an EFL teacher. English was in the centre of attention and I suppose
that my students saw me the same way. My goal was to be a good teacher of my
subject. That's why I went to conferences and learned about new methods. I
attended webinars to sort out my ideas. I got involved in social media to
compare my teaching against the backdrop of other people's teaching
ideas.
I started this
blog a year ago. I've written about lots of things but the focus could be
summarized as 'my students learning English and I teaching it'. Back in
September when I became a class teacher and got a group of 23 students to 'look
after' things changed. In this particular class, the focus is not just English; the focus is the people, relationships, needs, praise, reprimands,
love, desires, behaviour, illnesses, sorrows, joys, parents, sisters, parties,
trips ..... I teach four lessons a week in this class and I'm supposed to teach
them English. I have one extra lesson a month plus all the breaks between
lessons to deal with all the issues listed above. Obviously, I can't manage to
be a class teacher for 45 minutes a month. So inevitably, the extra 'class' issues
eat away our regular lesson time, which, I admit, makes me feel a little uncomfortable.
But although being
a class teacher is challenging and time-consuming, and maybe it even spoils
some of your teaching principles, it's also exciting. I think it's similar to
becoming a parent - you suddenly have someone to care for. You feel more
important - needed. Before you become a parent you have all those ideals about how to
bring up a child. You plan and organize; you are firm and persistent (and often
judgmental too). But then, everything is different when the child is born. You
react as situations emerge. The quality of your parenting depends on what kind
of person you are; it depends on all the experience you’ve got so far.
It's the same at
school. I don’t think there’s a general manual telling you how to be a great class
teacher. The quality is closely related to your personality – rather than, for
example, to classroom management skills that you are taught in methodology
courses. As a class teacher, you can't just close the coursebook and leave the room
when you finish the lesson. You must be there all the time, though not always
in the physical sense. You are the roof and the shelter. When something
happens, a student misbehaves in a PE lesson, for example, the teacher comes to
the class teacher to complain. This is extra pressure you need to deal with
because you're expected to take action; you're supposed to fix it.
The truth is that you also become a little possessive. You catch yourself saying 'my class' more often than before. You feel aggrieved when someone talks badly about 'your' class and you even make enemies among your colleagues because you defend 'your' brats. You feel proud when 'your' student wins a competition, even though you aren't entitled to the slightest credit. And the
headmaster is watching all the time .....
I guess I'm writing this
post as an apology. I haven't taken part in the #eltchat for some time because
it's late at night when I either crave sleep or esoteric literature instead. Stories
about Buddhist monks help me blow off steam and get a wider picture. They help me understand. And when
I finally close the book I spare a few minutes to think about my class - I
think of student X, who is new in the class and I wonder how he feels. Have the others accepted him yet? I think
of Y who is so shy and quiet all the time .... what does he think? Shall I talk
to him after school? Are they happy? I hope they
will be happy once I’m happy myself. That's probably the reason why I'm working on my own state of mind - that's why the break I'm taking. Unhappy teachers have unhappy students. An inevitable part of the teaching profession is to seek balance and harmony in life because happiness, as well as
passion, is infectious and can be easily passed on to people around you.
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